During last week’s blizzard in New England, I did take the time to clean out my drawers I never really go into, but thought it time as I’m in the cleaning and purging mode. Right before I opened the drawers, I couldn’t remember why I hadn’t looked in them for years – didn’t I need what was in them? However, as soon as I opened one I realized exactly why they had been shut for so long: they contained a lot of lingerie. Lacy bras, stockings, night wear, underwear all the things I had talked about wanting for myself was right here within my own reach.
It is funny how one person’s dislike can impact you. The sad part is that I let something as innocuous as lingerie impact how I handled it. Instead of continuing to wear the pieces, I shoved them in a drawer and haven’t opened them in 7 years. I guess a part of me knew how much I loved them and couldn’t bear to part with them, but really I have to ask the question: What the hell is wrong with me? While he may have not enjoyed them, I LOVE them. I love feeling pretty, sexy and feminine and can’t imagine why I hid that part of me away. At some point, you can only hide so much of who you are, and what you love, before you become unrecognizable. I realize now I was as effective at being a happy person as an empty shell is in a loaded gun.
In addition to finding my hidden treasures, I received my package from http://www.adoreme.com and am very pleased with my purchase. I’ll definitely be buying from them in the future.
This week, I started to feel a bit better and while I still have a way to go, I got out to the gym a couple of days and realized I missed it. I also had dinner with a friend and called another friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. I’m learning to put up boundaries so I can learn to put me at the top of the to-do list for the day. It helps when your able to voice your wants and needs and actual realize most people don’t get offended. I admit I’m still stumbling through my words and know it’ll be some time before this becomes second nature to me. However, I refuse to go back to the way things were.
The other night, I had dinner with a friend of mine. We’ve decided to run 5k and 10k races in different states. While I originally suggested this idea, she has run with it. She sent me a list of runs for every month last week and admit my meds wipe me out so I brought the list to dinner. She has found some really cool races for us to choose from and all have some sort of theme. I can dress up as Waldo from the Where’s Waldo series of books (I really loved trying to spot him) in Colorado Springs, to a night run in Las Vegas. Her efforts and list only motivate me more to really push myself and become a success at completing all of what she’s looked into. This is also an excellent way for me to put me at the top of the list, tell people I have to train, while at the same time learn how to set aside time for me.
During dinner we talked about her recent trip to Spain and upcoming trip to visit a friend in Chicago where they’ve set up appointments with a stylist. My ears perked up about it. I asked questions and then mentioned how cool this sounded and she volunteered to do this with me in NYC. I have to admit, I have a lot of black in my wardrobe, which I love, but I think as I branch out, communicate more, I want some more color in my life. I also want to be okay with looking in a mirror and know I need some help with picking the right outfit. A stylist will take me outside of my comfort zone, see what I can’t and introduce me to a different side of me I’ve been hiding. I mentioned doing this in April and can’t wait.
Tonight, I’m meeting a friend for coffee and then planning a Mardi Gras dinner for later in the month (not on the actual day, I just want to cook the food and have fun with friends). I’d say I had a great time this week and can’t wait to see what’s in store for me this upcoming week.