Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is shared between 2 lovers, but when you date yourself, you have a tendency to focus on the lack of partner for the holiday instead of focusing on the great one standing before you in the mirror.
Years ago, I nixed Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those holidays where expectations of how your loved one shows you how he/she loves you by the day they’ve planned. Personally, I’ve had many a holiday where the gift has fallen flat and I’ve been left completely disappointed. I guess it’s because it’s the one holiday where I want my partner to have paid attention to the subtle hints I’ve dropped of what would make me happy instead having to prattle off a list of acceptable gifts.
See…..I’m a hopeless romantic. Well, kind of. I’m pretty logical and analytical and bury this part deep within me because no one has ever been able to figure out that not every gift has to be over the top to put a smile on my face. I won’t lie, if someone planned a long weekend to Paris for me, I’d be over the moon. However, I think part of this is because someone other than me, planned the trip. For me, it is often the simple gesture which melts my heart. You want to cook a dinner for me, or buy the ingredients and cook with me – AWESOME. A great music playlist because you’ve paid attention to what I listen to – AMAZING. I really think it’s because someone has taken the time to zero in on what I want, not necessarily buy what advertisers think I would want. Also, buying the same gift year-after-year is wrong. Just because I loved a gift last year, doesn’t mean I want it again. I mean I might, but to me, Valentine’s Day is more about paying attention and listening to what your partner wants at that moment in time.
For years I carried my aversion to this holiday forward. This year, I changed my thinking. I realized if I was dating me, who better to buy me my own gift. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine, he wholeheartedly supported me and suggested a piece of pottery.
I know that may not appeal to all, but I love to entertain and love serving pieces made by artisans. My friend offered to take me to some places and commented that my eyes lit up as soon as I saw a piece I wanted. I’d like to say he’s lying, but I do light up and do get excited when around pottery. It sounds crazy, but I begin to imagine how I’d use a piece….and, not all pieces are for practical purposes; some are treasured because they are whimsical and make me laugh. This year, I decided to splurge on me on bought several pieces. I can’t wait to use them because I’ll know I bought them to celebrate the love I have for me.
I know many won’t understand the above comment, but I’m starting to be in a place where learning about me is a pretty interesting and awesome place. I’m unlocking interests I’ve suppressed over the years and have more confidence in who I am and what I want at this point in life. If or when I decide to date someone other than me, I believe they’ll have to be a strong individual who compliments my lifestyle and not intimidated by the confidence I’m beginning to discover in myself.
This Valentine’s Day was pretty amazing because I reclaimed it. I no longer loathe the holiday, but look forward to next year.