I think it’s easy to slip back into toxic habits, and in my case, I’ve been allowing distractions to consume my life instead of focusing on what I need to be happy.
Part of being truly happy, besides treating yourself well, is looking at your surroundings and taking stock of your home, health and finances (aka as ‘my well-being’) – which are all the basics I need to have in order in place before I can incorporate another person in my life. I’m finally seeing my issues that need addressing in my well-being and am slowly starting to take some steps at correcting it, I realize I need to make it my number one priority because…well….I’ll never heal and will be a proverbial walking hot mess.
This year has been both a tough and interesting year. I’ve had some health issues that landed me in the hospital and an oral surgeon’s chair for emergency dental surgery (mouth issues are the worst). I also found out that I’ve locked away a lot of interests I’ve neglected (like love of lingerie) because I didn’t feel strong enough with who I was to just not give a shit and explore that side of me. So……for the next 21 days, like any good cleanse, I’m limiting my smartphone use to bedtime – I use mine for music and an alarm clock. No texts, Facebook or games. This should give me an idea of what I’ve been neglecting in my life because I haven’t been ready to face things. I’m also going to limit my Internet use to blogging, bill paying, research on lawn mowers, and setting up times to see friends to actually connect with people in person. Novel approach to heal while I file for divorce and start the next chapter of my life.
During this time, I also plan to use the bow flex max trainer M5 I ordered late one night while on Vicodin from dental surgery, box a bit more, run again, take back my health (translation get psoriasis under control – it really is stress and food related for me), meditate and openly lean on my friends for social events.
Honestly, I’m curious to go back to the 1990s before the smartphone – where people were forced to look at their surroundings for their happiness. I just think my smartphone became my drug of choice to ignore the bullshit I have to get through to finally be happy.